Do Not Fear

I have never been one to worry about health issues or to even really go to the doctor.  I usually take a couple Motrin and go about my day.  For quite some time now, I have been having headaches in the back of my head, which I have been treating as tension headaches because my neck also is bothering me and my shoulders are solid rock.  So I have started getting massages and about 4 weeks ago, my doctor put me on muscle relaxers.  Needless to say, they are not getting better and last week I started having multiple dizzy spells, so I went back to the doctor.

The doctor was awesome and is still thinking that it is muscular and skeletal.  He put me on a cortisone pack and is sending me for physical therapy.  Here is where the Do Not Fear comes in: The doctor asks, "Have you talked to your oncologist yet? And, because of your history, I am going to send you for a brain and spine MRI."  The doctor then told me it is highly unlikely that it will turn anything up but it is better to be safe.

So here is where I sit now:

1.  Who do I tell, because as soon as I say any of this to anyone, their faces show the worry and concern, just as yours are probably doing now.

2.  I know that because of my history, every time I go to the doctor with an ailment, it will probably end up in more tests and more concern.  So, I struggle to even go...but I know that I should.

3.  Now that I am facing another MRI and even though the doctor does not seem too concerned, I am a little worried.  The fear creeps in, even though I try not to let it.  This morning one of the verses in my devotional was 1 John 4:18 "There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. For fear has to do with punishment, and whoever fears has not been perfected in love."  I love this verse and have for quite some time.  God's love for us is all encompassing and all powerful.  It is so strong, that it drives out fear.  Fear is a form of punishment.  It causes heartache, worry, and all sorts of stress.  So by fearing what is to come with this MRI, I am not allowing God's love to be perfected in me.  WOW!  Why would I want punishment over God's AMAZING love!  

So, from here, I plan to let go of the fear and to allow God to show me His perfect love.  I am asking for each of you to allow Him to do the same for you. Also, please pray with me this week that not only do I let go of fear but for the MRI and that no matter what the results, I allow God's perfect love to trump anything else.  I fully understand that His perfect love might not equal a clear scan, although I pray it does. 

My disclaimer to my family and friends is this:  I am sorry if I have not personally shared this with you before this blog post, but as I stated above, I am struggling with sharing this because I don't want anyone else to fear or worry.

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