I Love My Kids!
Because it was Easter and I was thinking about the AMAZING sacrifice that God made for us by allowing His Son to die on the cross for our sins, only to ressurected in 3 days to conquer sin and death. It really made me think about the LOVE of our Father for us his children. And I am so thankful for that unconditional love. I have to admit that I really need it and this weekend I realized a big area that I need it in, the love of my children.
Let me explain, I love my children so much that it drives me to do crazy things. The most crazy thing is lack of trust and faith in the unfailing plan of my Father. For some reason, I can trust God wholly and completely with my cancer but I forget that I can trust him wholly for the welfare of my children. Unfotunately, I experience this the most with my older children. My claws come out when I see the potential for hurt and I tend to take situations in my own hands instead of turning it over to God and trusting in His plan for their lives.
So from now on, I will try to remember to turn things over to God. Don't get me wrong, I know it is our job as parents to guide and instruct them, but I think I am realizing that once we say what we need to say, it is time to sit back and trust. They are going to get hurt sometimes, but that is all a part of them growing. The older they get, the harder it gets because the life lessons get bigger.
Mom, Dad, I am so sorry for the heartache and stress I put you through and I now thank you so much for the lessons, you tried to teach me. I know I didn't appreciate it at the time, but I sure do now.
Kids, I am so sorry for sometimes becoming the overbearing MONSTER and not letting go...but I am not sorry for saying the hard things, teaching the hard lessons. It breaks my heart when you guys are mad at me, but I know that one day, what I say will matter. I know that one day, you will also experience the craziness.
God, I am sorry for not trusting your unfailing plan. I am sorry for trying to take over instead of listen and trust.
I leave you with this, many times this weekend, we commented on how nice it is to be young and carefree so I will leave you with some pics of the young and carefree.
disclaimer: I feel like God has been working on this area of my life for a long while now, and God used the Easter message at our church to help point this out to me. It is not related to any 1 incidence with any of my children but to many that have occured over the last year.