God Eases My Worries Once Again

Yesterday while I was at the hospital getting my 3rd chemo treatment, my mom was taking 3 of my 5 kids to the doctor.  It started with little Ady because she has had a cold for several day and finally it was effecting her sleep.  Her trip to the doc revealed strep and 2 infected ears.  So my pediatrician, knowing my situation recommended bringing any other kid that has been not feeling well in for a test.  That lead to Mikaelyn and Tucker.  Mikaelyn was clear of strep, but Tucker on the other hand was not which leads me to my worry.

Tucker has had strep basically since January 6th.  He tested positive on the 6th and started antibiotics.  He then tested positive on the 20th and started antibiotics.  And yesterday, showing no signs or symptoms, tested positive for the 3rd time.  He is now on a 3rd antibiotic for 14 days and then he will be tested again.  The worry comes because the doctor mentioned that if he tests positive again, we will be making a trip to the ENT, which usually means having your tonsils removed.

Therefore the thoughts going through my head this morning are:

1.  NO, not one more mountain to have to climb.
2.  I am scared to death.  I know that tonsillectomies are normal and many kids and adults have them with rarely any complications.  In fact, the death rate is less than 4%, but recently with my current circumstances and many others around me, I have realized that someone has to be that less than 4%.  And yes, unfortunately I attended the funeral of a child cousin of mine many years ago because of complications from a tonsillectomy.

Here is where God comes in:

Many times this morning, worry and tears where creeping into my life.  I was letting fear take over.  In my head, I was saying, I know God is bigger than this and no matter what is dealt before us, He will get us through it, but I was not allowing my heart to feel it.  I was not allowing my God to truly take over my fear.  I was not letting go and asking Him to take control.

I just came upstairs to rest and read my "Jesus Calling" devotion for the day before taking a nap and voila, God does it again.  I started reading and the first words are "Follow me one step at a time."  Isn't that what He has been trying to teach me with this CANCER thing. (sometimes I can be so stubborn)  I love the analogies that Sarah Young used in her devotion.  She used the mountain to be the obstacle(s) in front of us.  Most of the time, we see the mountain that is being thrust in front of our path and automatically start worrying about what we are going to do when we get there, how are we going to climb it, why do we need to climb it, and not again.  Instead we should be walking by faith, not by sight. (2Corinthians 5:7)  We should be leaning on our Father and asking Him to lead the way and not allowing our sight of things to make us worry or fear.

My sight was immediately taking me to the top of the mountain, to the worst possible fear, when it has not even been confirmed that we are going to the top of the mountain.  God might change our path, Tucker's next test might be negative.  He might also give us an easier path around the mountain.  God might also tell us that we are going to climb this mountain, but if He does, we can rest assured that He will equip us to make the climb. 
     Psalm 91:11-12Amplified Bible (AMP)
11For He will give His angels [especial] charge over you to accompany and defend and preserve you in all your ways [of obedience and service]. 12They shall bear you up on their hands, lest you dash your foot against a stone.

For now, I am going to walk by faith and not by sight and trust that my Savior Jesus will lead me on the path that He has planned.  I am going to rest in and enjoy His presence along the journey.  I am not going to allow my sight of the possible future steal my joy.  I am not going to allow worry to consume my thoughts.  I am going to trust in what He has promised: that no matter what path He takes us on, He will be there the entire way. 

Comments

  1. I know of some homeopathic treatments for strep ans ear infections that really work. The ingredients are simple and easy to find if you are interested. You can call or email me for more info. I'll even volunteer to shop for the ingredients and help you get started. When I was a kid this is the only thing my mom would do to treat us for strep and it always worked. Maybe if you do the natural along with the antibiotics you can really kick it in the butt! :)

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  2. Tyler had his tonsils and adnoids out when he was 4, with no complications. He had to get his out because he had a swollen tonsil that would not go down. Before the surgery he had lots of ear infections, after, none.
    -Connie Morris

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  3. I love you. Thanks you so much for being a strong example for me. Worry is my biggest hindrance for a stronger walk with the Lord. How many wasted sleepless nights!!

    One step at a time. (Or for me, one baby step at a time.)

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