Psalm 139

I am sitting here having my 3rd chemo treatment and thinking about many things.  I haven't blogged since my confession last week.  A lot of things have happened since then.  So I will give a brief synopsis of that and then I God is placing something on my heart.

1.  Along with the help of some AMAZING women, Grace, Amy and Robin, we spent Wednesday and Thursday packing.  I feel so good about the amount of work we got done.  God truly is providing what I need to stay pretty relaxed.

2.  My dad had a birthday!  I was able to actually feel normal and cook for him which I have not done in a long time.  It felt great.  We had chicken fried steak, mashed potatoes, and green beans, along with homemade banana pudding for dessert.  I was a little nervous as I haven't cooked CFS or really anything in a long time.  Everything was absolutely delicious and we truly enjoyed the time together.  The recipe I used for the banana pudding was amazing by the way.

3.  I had my 34th birthday on Sunday.  I spent Friday night playing XBOX 360 kinnect with my boys which was FUN!  Josh took me to Baltimore to shop and eat an incredible dinner on Saturday afternoon/evening.  Sunday we all went to breakfast which was delicious and then I spent the afternoon shopping with Mikaelyn, Ady and Tucker.  That afternoon, my aunt Julie arrived and my mom cooked a delicious dinner.  It has been great to spend quality time with all my family and friends.

Now on to what God is placing on my heart.  Last night, my friend Cree came over to spend time with Mik and then run my kids around and then pray with me before today.  She mentioned that she gave Mikaelyn a Biblical homework assignment over Psalm 139.  Since I am not great at scripture memory, I opened up my Bible app on my phone to read it.  Guess what???  It was already opened to it!!! I was reading it the day before.  (BTW, aren't we blessed that with all the technological devices we have, the Bible can be at our fingertips in the matter of seconds)  So this morning, I am diving in to read it a little more in depth.  I don't remember exactly what the homework assignment was but it is something I want to do also, so I am hoping that Cree will post in the comment section what the exact assignment and some of the guidance she gave to both me and Mik. 

Anyways, I have read this Psalm many times and I love it.  I am really looking forward to diving into it.  I read it in The Message version tis morning and it's great so I am posting it below:

Psalm 139

A David Psalm

1-6 God, investigate my life; get all the facts firsthand.
I'm an open book to you;
even from a distance, you know what I'm thinking.
You know when I leave and when I get back;
I'm never out of your sight.
You know everything I'm going to say
before I start the first sentence.
I look behind me and you're there,
then up ahead and you're there, too—
your reassuring presence, coming and going.
This is too much, too wonderful—
I can't take it all in!

7-12 Is there anyplace I can go to avoid your Spirit?
to be out of your sight?
If I climb to the sky, you're there!
If I go underground, you're there!
If I flew on morning's wings
to the far western horizon,
You'd find me in a minute—
you're already there waiting!
Then I said to myself, "Oh, he even sees me in the dark!
At night I'm immersed in the light!"
It's a fact: darkness isn't dark to you;
night and day, darkness and light, they're all the same to you.

13-16 Oh yes, you shaped me first inside, then out;
you formed me in my mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, I am marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know me inside and out,
you know every bone in my body;
You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit,
how I was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched me grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of my life were spread out before you,
The days of my life all prepared
before I'd even lived one day.

17-22 Your thoughts—how rare, how beautiful!
God, I'll never comprehend them!
I couldn't even begin to count them—
any more than I could count the sand of the sea.
Oh, let me rise in the morning and live always with you!
And please, God, do away with wickedness for good!
And you murderers—out of here!—
all the men and women who belittle you, God,
infatuated with cheap god-imitations.
See how I hate those who hate you, God,
see how I loathe all this godless arrogance;
I hate it with pure, unadulterated hatred.
Your enemies are my enemies!

23-24 Investigate my life, O God,
find out everything about me;
Cross-examine and test me,
get a clear picture of what I'm about;
See for yourself whether I've done anything wrong—
then guide me on the road to eternal life.

The  idea I am going to touch on today, is how David both starts and ends this Psalm. 
     "Investigate my life..."  He is asking God to investigate His life. This is a BOLD ask on David's behalf.  From what I know of an investigation, mainly from all the CSI's that I watch. :), they are intense.  An investigation is used when someone needs to or wants to know every single miniscule detail of someone's life.  David is asking God to do this in his life??? WOW!  I love that he starts off with this and then he goes on to mention all that already knows of God and how completely God knows him.  Then he finishes with verse 23 and 24 which David then asks God to cross examine and test him so that He can see a clear picture.  He asks God to look for things he has done wrong and then to guide him closer to God.  I want to be cross-examined and tested and I want to live up to what my Father God wants from me.  I want to pass the test with flying colors and if I don't, I want to truly listen to things I have done wrong.  I want to be taught by the GREASTEST teacher of all time, my God, my Savior, my Father, my All in All.

I plan to spend more time in Psalm 139 this week and I pray that God will reveal more to me.

Please pray with me this week, after treatment.  Specifically pray that this cold that is starting in me, goes away and does not get worse.

Love, ME


  1. After reading through the Psalm, read it over again and write down:
    1. what it says about who you are.
    2. what it says about who God is.
    3. what it says about God's relationship with you.

    Don't just write the verses that talk about the above areas, but write down what those verses actually speak to you. I told Mik to do it daily until we meet again- not just rewriting what she wrote the first time, but allowing the Holy Spirit to speak to her differently each time she looks at it, receiving the truths packed in these verses over and over again.
    It is a fundamental stepping stone of a psalm, leading further to our understanding our identity. I've done this before and allowed it to heal my heart and encourage me in deep places. I'm committed to going through it again this way throughout this week along with Mik and Mich.

  2. Congrats to you on being able to do some normal things of life. It takes extra will and motivation to accomplish that, so good for you! I will pray that you don't get sick- I got sick after my 3rd treatment. It was no fun. I think the immune system has had about as much as it can take without giving in by this point :( Hope it doesn't get you down. As for the time with the Lord and seeking to know Him and be known by Him, THAT is the absolute best part of this journey, by far! I felt like everyday I was being challenged to learn something. And my deep desire was to learn as much as I could through the trial. Good heavens- if you have to go through it, get all that you can out of it! Cherish the time that this disease is giving you to rest in Him. Other people can take care of lots of things, but they can't rest for you! Spend that time with the Lord- it is a priceless gift!


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