Feeling Good and My Crazy Life

I am totally working on a year in review post similar to both of my good friends, Amy and Jen.  I have lots of thoughts in my head but have not had the time to sit down and put them to print.  I am sure I will do it next week when I have lots of down time.

So in the meantime, here is what's been going on....

I feel really good this week, almost back to normal which is great!!!  Although Monday night, the reality of all of this really hit me hard.  I hardly slept because of the anxiety and fear that was building inside.  I am feeling so close to normal, I really started dreading having to go back in Tuesday for another treatment.  I started reliving the pain and the other feelings that I had the week of my last treatment.  Here is where God is good:  Tuesday morning I woke up and my daily devotional that I have been doing was on refreshing myself in the peace of Jesus' presence, reminding me that Jesus is always with me and that He will carry my burdens if I let Him.  It concluded with the fact that in Him, we have a confident peace.  I love those two words together, "confident peace".  The word confident is defined as having strong belief or full assurance.  The pairing of these two words reminded me that in Jesus our peace should be strong and there is no reason we should not be sure in it.  On top of my devotional though, I went to my women's Bible study group that morning and I completely opened up about the fear and dread I was experiencing and asked them to be praying about it...God is answering this prayer daily because since then, the fear is minimal and if it does creep in, it is easy to squash.  Thank you God and thank you friends for praying.

On another note, since I have been feeling so good, I have probably overdone it this week but thats OK.  I am trying to live life...and get things done that need to be done in the week that I feel up to it.  Josh and I were planning on buying a house sometime early this year and after talking about it, we have decided not to wait...we don't feel like cancer should stop us from proceeding with our plans and life. (friends be ready...we will be having a boxing party...lol )  So this week I have been looking at lots and lots of houses.  It has been fun but tiring at the same time.  We are close to making a decision but it is such a big one, that I want to be 100% sure that the house we choose is the one God wants us in.  I also worked in the office all day yesterday for the first time since I was diagnosed.  It felt so good to do normal life.  I really enjoyed seeing everybody and it made me realize how much I missed doing life with the staff at my church and at camp.  I also shaved my head this week.  My hair started falling out on Tuesday and got worse on Wednesday so I decided to get rid of it.  Surprisingly enough, I really like it.  I will probably not be wearing a wig very often.   Amy went with me and took pictures again and here is the link.  Doing these things with friends, makes it much easier and more fun.  I also met a beautiful young woman that day that is going through treatments for breast cancer.  She really provided a light and hope in the face of this awful disease.

This week has been full of so much and God has been so good thorugh all of it.  I feel like He is giving me the strength to get through next week.  In the meantime, I am going to make the most of every second until then.  And then, next week the plan is to make the most of every second but just in a completely different way than I am this week...

As I am sitting here writing this post, I am watching my little Ady dance to every sound of music that she hears.  She does this all the time and I am really beginning to realize that God gave her the love of dance to remind me to keep on dancing.  Life is a dance and there is music all around us to dance to.  So yes, I am going to keep on dancing through life and listening for the music God provides.

Comments

  1. We may be far from you, but please know you are always in our thoughts and prayers. You will conquer this I know it!! This family may be a lot of things, fighters and survivors they are!!! Love reading the blog so we feel updated. Good luck on house hunting. May God bless you with the best!!! We love you girl, praying daily for you. You are an inspiration to so many. Much love. Mark & Melinda Byard

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