HOPE

My appointment with the oncoclogist was last night.  It was really good meeting with him and hearing everything he had to say.  He was very positive despite the fact that I have stage 3A ovarian cancer.  He said because of my age and the fact that there were only microscopic cells outside of the ovary that he feels more like I am a stage 1.  Therefore he feels that after my 6 treatments, I should go straight into remission.  Of course, I will have continual tests and scans to watch and make sure nothing comes back.  He told me I will be around for a long time.  So what's next?

I should hear from the chemo specialist tomorrow and we will set my treatment schedule.  I will have 6 treatments spaced 3 weeks apart each.  He did state that I will loose my hair and he wants me to start next week.  I don't want to be sick on Christmas though so I want to see what days they have available.

How do I feel about all this?

Last night leaving the office, we were hopeful and happy.  It was really nice to hear him say that he is expecting positive results fromn all of this.  Granted we know that we have a long road ahead of us, we do have a bright light at the end of the road. 

As far as loosing my hair, I am not too concerned with the appearance aspect of loosing my hair.  I think the part that will be the hardest is that by loosing my hair it is a visual sign to everyone that I have cancer.  I think that this might be harder on the kids than it will be on me.  They will know that I am sick and everyone surrounding us will know.  All that being said, we will get used to it.  Who knows, I might get spunky with my wig or wigs....

Sometimes I feel that I am supposed to be more distraught in all of this.  I mean, it is cancer and it does suck but most days I am joyful, hopeful and just down right happy to be here.  Yesterday was hard and long and I felt like I had a heavy weight around my neck all day but after the appointment I left feeling joyful again.  When I was trying to explain this to a friend last night, she looked at me and said, "It's because God has in hands in this!"  I truly believe He does have his hand in every aspect.  My doctor shines with a light that I know has to be God's own.  And God has really been shining through all of my friends and family! 

I was brought to tears multiple times yesterday because of the joy shared through people I love.

I will share hopefully tomorrow what my treatment schedule will look like.

Love, ME

Comments

  1. I stumbled upon your blog, and I wanted to tell you that you have an amazing spirit. I also was diagonosed with ovarian cancer. Mine was when I was 23 years old. The doctors were shocked because I was too young to have it. Thankfully, mine was all removed with surgery, and after 4 rounds of chemo spaced 4 weeks apart, my treatments were done. That was 16 years ago, with no further problems. Because God (and my doctors) were so good to me, I only lost 1 ovary and now have 2 beautiful children. I worried for so many years afterward, but the fear and worry lessen. You will come through this and will be an even better person for it. Hugs to you! Nicole

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  2. You have a great attitude going in to chemo, which is incredibly important. It'll help you handle the difficulties that come your way during chemo! And it'll help you care for your family, as well as reassuring them. Enjoy your joy in life & love, & remember how you feel now in case you feel worse later. Those memories can sustain you!

    Most women do lose their hair on Taxol, particularly when you get it once every 3 weeks. If you get it every week, it's a lower dose, so some side effects are lessened - I haven't lost all of my hair, just most of it ;-)

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