Surgery Date

We scheduled my surgery next Wednesday, the day before Thanksgiving.  Not the ideal date for a surgery with an overnight hospital stay but I would rather get it over with than wait until early December.  So we are moving ahead with next Wednesday.   

I am thankful for my family and the fact that they are willing to move our Thanksgiving celebration to Monday instead.

Also, the pathology came back from the first surgery...the pathologists basically said there was not enough tissue to get a good read...translating that they recommend getting more which is what we are proceeding with.  The surgical orders read TAH/BSO Staging which stands for  total hysterectomy and bilateral salpingo-oophorectomy.  Just the word staging is a little scary.

So here is what I am struggling with:

1.  I have Borderline Ovarian Cancer which nobody including myself really understands.  I think it is not as scary as cancer but I am not 100% for sure.  It is scary enough to do staging.

2.  I don't want to unload on everyone I see about what is going on, but I also don't want to be asked the question, "How are things going?" and answer, "Great!" and then later on that person finds out that I just had major surgery and that I did not say anything.  I want people to see me and not a false face that I put up to hide what is going on . 

3.  People are constantly asking, "Are you scared?"  Honestly, I am not.  I really wouldn't describe the feeling as scared.  I am truly at peace with the way things are going.  I have felt God's hand in all of this.  Right now, I just want to get it over with.  I want to move on to whatever is next.  I also want to make sure that I am sharing the peace that God is giving me with the others around me.

4.  Today, I had my pre-operative physical and tests.  My general doctor told me, you are in perfect health which is good, all things considered.  I am constantly getting from everyone including doctors, the shocked look of "Really???" when I tell them what is going on with me.  Women your age and with all your circumstances don't get ovarian cancer or borderline ovarian cancer....  I am learning that even in statisctics, there is still a 1% or a 5% and somebody is that percentage.  Unfortunately, people I know including me have become those percentages.  Because of this, I have been able to spend lots of time in prayer for others and others have spent lots of time praying for me.  Through prayer, I have felt a closeness to people that is truly comforting.  Also, we don't always understand why things happen the way they do, but what I keep coming back to is the fact that because God sent his one and only son to die for our sins, we have the opportunity of eternal life with Him if we only believe. 

     John 3:16 16"For God so loved the world,[a] that he gave his only Son, that whoever believes in him should not perish but have eternal life.

I pray that everyone has a blessed and happy Thanksgiving.  I am truly looking forward to the blessed chaos that happens when all of our family gets together.  I love it and I am so thankful for it.  I will miss the faces that are absent from the table but I know that I will feel you all there because of the closeness we have felt through prayer. 


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